Color

My heart is full of color this morning. I love color: seeing it, touching it, wearing it, and feeling it from the inside of me all the way out to my fingertips. There is a certain reverence to the morning light as it warms the first leaves with its touch, and that same light source creates a palette of vibrant pastels when it sinks into the western sky, stretching its fingers to touch every cloud goodnight, painting for us a spectrum of possibilities from sunup to sundown.

Without color, my life would be dull, indeed. A red living room wall greeting me when I walk into my home is a reflection of my own vibrancy and passion for living. Yellow accent pieces against my muted apple-green kitchen walls supply yearlong springtime. And for sanctuary, peaceful breathing, and rejuvenation I withdraw to the hand-painted vines climbing the blueish/greenish walls of my bedroom.

Mornings allow me to identify with the ROY G. BIV lineup of colors in my closet, starting always with my shoes and building up from my feet. Yesterday it was my cowboy boots and blue tights supplying all the color my basic grey dress didn’t have on its own. While others looked at my striking blue legs paired with my lime green raincoat and pitied my colorful brashness, I smiled and embraced the authenticity of me.

If ever in doubt, I always wear red, but wearing color is a given, as John Ruskin, English art critic, reminds me, “The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love color the most.”

Moments in Time

Today I’ve been pondering a few things about my life. I hope we all have those days, or at the very least those moments, we allow ourselves to steal away from our routines, our lists of things to be completed, our computers to ponder, reflect, meditate, pray, breathe. The picture of the Hyacinth you see isn’t wrongly oriented; it is actually lying on its side, but still smells every bit as sweet as its companions. This beautiful flower is blooming where it is, regardless of the hardship its encountered, and sharing its shockingly sweet fragrance with whomever cares to get down on her hands and knees and request a sniff.

We all experience hardships, trials or even trauma in our lives. But most of us create a false front – a veneer to cover and to gloss over events and circumstances that shape who we truly are on the inside. I did that for a really long time but I stopped wearing that lipstick long ago.

There was a moment many years back when I let down my veneer long enough to allow someone else to help me in a really tough situation. Today I saw that individual again and I thanked her for caring for me in my moment of honesty. She had not forgotten, although I assumed she had. She’s not someone in my regular circle of friends; I rarely see her, but she was a tender mercy when I needed it.

I’m not suggesting that we need to expose every personal detail of our lives with everyone. Too many people share too much information as it is (Facebook is not your friend, my friend), and in sharing meaningless information may miss out on discovering for themselves who they really are.

I’m grateful today to know this about myself:

  1. My past does not define my present.
  2. I am surrounded by people who love and support me.
  3. I am talented in many different ways.
  4. Success is defined by me and not anyone or anything else outside of me.
  5. I am strong, capable, and in control.
  6. My voice is powerful and heard.

Authenticity is a beautiful trait I strive to possess because if someone cares to get close enough to me, I want to be at my best in that moment. Because even if I’m lying on my side I know I have the capacity within me to get up again.