Professionals
We’re all professionals here, right? Wrong.
It all depends on your definition of professional. Let me set the stage:
I like to maximize my time, especially when I have to drive a considerable distance to meet with potential clients. When I schedule an appointment I always follow the same protocol:
- Ask if there are special instructions needed to find their office.
- Ask for the best phone number to use in the event I need to reach him/her the day of our appointment.
- Provide my cell number in case they need to contact me.
- Verify the date and time before ending our conversation.
- Send a hand-written note expressing thanks for the opportunity to meet in person and write out the day, date and time of our pending appointment.
I do this every single time. No exceptions.
Tuesday morning I drove 90 minutes to conduct two appointments, which I’d conveniently scheduled back-to-back at 9:30 and 11:00. I arrived to the 9:30 appointment five minutes early, but since there was no one in the reception area, I had to search their building to find someone to assist me. Upon seeing two female employees chatting in an office, I politely asked for their company president, with whom I had the appointment. One (rather dourly) said, “Well he’s not here.” I politely countered, “I am five minutes early. Should I wait back at the front desk?” With an exasperated sigh, I was told to just wait where I was.
Over the next forty minutes, frustration mounting, I observed three employees with little to no interest in what happened outside of their individual office doors; I was informed the company president “is always late,” as if that justifies and/or excuses his bad behavior; I was told there was no way to phone him (baloney), but he had been pinged; and I was simply ignored. Just as I determined to leave the building, the third employee offered to call the president and the phone was handed to me. Here’s where my story gets really interesting.
Rather than apologize and take responsibility for his absence, the president of the company’s opening comments to me were simply, “Are you that woman. . . ? I got caught in another meeting, but I can be there in twenty-five minutes.” For what should be very obvious reasons, this did not end well. I reminded him how far I had driven to meet with him, and still received no apology. He suggested I wait for his arrival. I told him that was inconvenient for me, and I had other meetings scheduled for the remainder of the day. He told me to send him an email and reschedule, and that ended our conversation.
I have no intention of driving three more hours (total) to meet someone who shows such an obvious disregard for my time, and who displays blatant disrespect for me as a professional. At the very least, a courtesy call to let me know he was late would have been the professional and polite thing to do. However, I do not believe for a moment he was “caught in another meeting.”
Why do I bother going through all those motions when I schedule an appointment?
- I am setting the stage for the business relationship I hope to form.
- My actions speak loudly, and I want my potential client to “hear” me say I am a qualified and credible professional, who respects and values the time they agreed to share with me.
- This is a way to softly verify our calendars are talking to each other, especially with the “reminder” note that follows our phone conversation.
When we model bad behavior for our employees, our vendors, and our clients, we breed working environments full of professionals behaving badly. I cannot blame the three employees with whom I interacted during my forty-minute nightmare on Tuesday morning. They are simply behaving in the same disrespectful and casual manner they see daily from the man at the helm, whose actions speak far louder than his words.
Love the way you handle appointments. Sorry about what happened.
Boy, does this company need your training. However… would you ever want to work with this guy? Ugh.
Thanks, Karen. You are right – I also felt like we might be able to truly work some magic there, but I don’t believe that will be happening now.
I’ve had similar experiences and I, too, declined to wait, citing other appointments (even if I didn’t have any). To wait implies that you have nothing better to do than to cater to their blatant disregard for your time. (In truth, shopping for shoes would be better than waiting that extra 25 minutes!) I’m always nice and offer to reschedule when something happens but driving that distance, I wouldn’t work with him again–it doesn’t bode well for the future, although Karen’s right when she says that he really does need your training. Keep up the good work! You’re awesome!
Charlee – isn’t shopping for shoes ALWAYS better than most other activities? I commend you for taking the higher road and rescheduling when something happens outside of your control, but the disregard for another’s time is the hard pill for me to personally swallow.
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, more irritating to me than people who think their time is far more important than yours. This has me steaming for you. What a . And then, to top it, he says, “Are you that woman?” Screw you, dude.
Thank you for “steaming” with me. I completely concur – on all counts. While each of us has to manage our time wisely because what we doing is certainly important, we should never behave in such a way that implies our time is superior to anyone else’s.
And, of course, the insult to boot? Thanks for this: “Screw you, dude.”
I don’t understand why U didn’t reschedule with him for right after your 11 a.m. meeting.
Maybe he would have behaved more appropriately face-to-face (or, of course, maybe not) but your handling cut that possibility off.
Note: I completely get the point of your piece, but wonder if you were blinded by your emotion, i.e., anger at him.
While I admit that face-to-face interactions can sometimes be more revealing about a person’s true character, I believe much can (and should) be gleaned from the indicators given when we aren’t looking. It’s how you behave when you believe no one else is watching that are the greatest showcase of your true character.
Why didn’t I reschedule? I didn’t reschedule with him on principle.
And, honestly, whether or not I was “blinded by emotion” – do I want to do business with someone who does not value others enough to show common respect? His business isn’t worth that to me.
On a phone call it is hard to tell if the guy is an a**hole or preoccupied and unwittingly rude. In person you can use other “sensors” to decide if you want to work with him.
JMHO
I think it’s extraordinary how little regard some people have for others who are not a part of their group/gang/committee/workplace. We tend to be inclusive, and forget the validity of other people. I know that I’ve done this, I’m guilty. But, I’ve changed. I think that the company President’s agenda is part of corporate culture, and it’s unlikely he sees a need for change, which is usually the first step in innovation.
Arminda, I think you are exactly right; people play follow the leader. The Pres of the company may have been playing golf, or footsie, or … whatever. He obviously thought his time more valuable than yours, being sexist and egocentric to boot. Those employees that treated you with disregard, mirroring their boss, seem endemic to American business. This may be a rather cynical viewpoint, but I see lack of caring, of compassion, of the need to actually provide service for a customer, on almost a daily basis. You were the customer to that business, and you weren’t treated that way. It’s sad to think what might have been, what positive energy may have been released, if there had been a better, respectful experience for you.
The only constant in the universe is change… as the world economy changes around this person, he may discover his error; too late.
David – thank you for your thoughtful comments. You’re right, too. It is unlikely that the president feels any need for a change in his corporate culture, which sets the stage for your so aptly-identified game of Follow the Leader. How often, though, do we miss opportunities in many areas of our lives (whether professional or personal) because we fail to see the forest for the trees?
Missing the forest because of the trees… there are those that are “big picture” people, and those that are “detail-oriented”. There are values from each personality type that the other can learn from. I’m a big picture person in a detail job; it requires a different thought-process, and a willingness to value an alternate point of view.
I think it’s quite common that we miss those opportunities, as you say, Arminda. We tend to value our own thoughts/ideas/religion/governmental system/ideology as being the only really viable system. That’s why it is such a good thing to have people with another point of view around you. Without that built in check/balance, you are really just living in your own mind without fresh ideas and innovation.
What opportunities do you see available that have been missed?
Ok… I’ll be the one to throw this out there… I wonder if this scenario would have been the same if you were male. I’m still finding way too many instances where the “old boys” network is hard at work here. (I’m ducking now) I admire you for holding your cool on this one.. I can’t say I would have been able to. But that’s one of the things I love about you.. Your professionalism!
Kristen – I often wonder that, myself, and I’ve been in numerous conversations about the very subject. How might some of my professional interactions be different if I were just one of the boys? But I think that’s a blog post for another time. :-) In fact – I think you and I should have a conversation about it before I write that one!