What Whitney Taught This Skinny White Girl

Posted on by
4

I’m known for not knowing musicians’ names, but I know Whitney Houston. I know her name. I know her music. I know her voice. That voice. I remember the first time I heard her voice.

I was 13 years old, and was introduced to The Greatest Love of All by some of my friends at church. In fact, we were at the church for our weekly youth night, and my father was in the building for a separate meeting. I was absolutely mesmerized by Whitney’s voice, and had the entire song memorized in less than an hour. So convinced that my father would be just as emotionally impacted as me, I went and found him, interrupted his meeting, and sang for him the entire Arminda rendition of Whitney’s version of The Greatest Love. A capella.

That’s right folks. Picture it with me: the formidable thirteen-year-old version of me belting out what I was sure was not only a solid performance, but in the exact vocal likeness of Whitney Houston, herself. Priceless.

Thanks, Dad, for enduring that One Moment in Time you probably thought would never end, but more importantly, thank you, Whitney, for inspiring this skinny white girl to broaden her musical horizons and to seek out as many opportunities as possible to feel music in ways I never thought possible before I felt your voice.

 

More About “The Help” – A Movie Review

Posted on by
4

I finally saw the movie version of Kathryn Stockett’s The Help. I resisted seeing it initially because I hadn’t read the book, but I finished the book months ago, and even wrote my review of it here.

The movie was engaging, the acting was superb, and the adaptation to the book was mostly accurate, with some slight modifications for easier screen viewing. My personal favorite performance was Sissy Spacek as Missus Walters. If you haven’t had a chance to see the movie, I highly recommend you do so. I still prefer the book over the movie.

Enough about the movie. I want to get to what’s really on my mind. When I posted my opinion of Mrs. Stockett’s book, I got a response from Christina that has, quite literally, given me pause. I never replied to Christina, because I wanted to ponder my opinion, watch the movie, compare it to the book, and determine a more thoughtful and deliberate response. Here, for your perusal, is Christina’s comment:

For the sake of full disclosure, let me remind my readers that I am a white female, raised on the Maison-Dixon line border, and I reside in the south. Until I relocated to North Carolina as a 15-year-old, I honestly didn’t know race issues existed, and not because I’d never met anyone of African-American heritage. Things (opinions, attitudes, language) were just different here than they had been in Maryland.

I do not see myself as an expert on racial issues, nor do I think I have anything to share besides an honest personal opinion of a story, and the public reaction to that story. Christina referenced an article written by Roxane Gay, in which Ms. Gay shares her very strong opinion of The Help. I got the impression from Ms. Gay that The Help was an abysmal failure by a white female author to appropriately and accurately portray the lives, emotions, and reality of black women living in Mississippi in the 1960s.

Among other feelings, Ms. Gay suggests that the “The Help provides us with a deeply sanitized view of the segregated south in the early 1960s,” and “gives the impression that life was difficult in Mississippi in the 1960s for women, white and black, but still somewhat bearable because that’s just how things were.” She also suggests that to ease the viewer through those uncomfortable moments of truth, sprinkled throughout the movie was “a great deal of easy humor or contrived touching emotional moments.”

I don’t necessarily disagree with Ms. Gay, but I don’t necessarily agree with her, either. Race is a difficult subject. It’s an issue that is part of our past, and therefore, part of our present, and future, as well. Culturally, and individually, how we choose to view our racial roots says a lot about our willingness to look beyond color to see the beauty within each of us as human beings.

But I would posit that any story – regardless of its storyteller – that creates a wave within our larger cultural community is positive. We are each at different places along the divide of racial inequalities, and how we view the world around us. I cannot assume that everyone else (or anyone else, for that matter) sees others in exactly the same way that I see them. Nor can I assume that others interpret life in the same way that I do. For this very reason, it seems that any opportunity for one individual to grow in perception and understanding toward greater knowledge and acceptance of the past that is our present, is a good thing.

I am allowed to like The Help, just as much as Christina is allowed to like The Help, and we need not feel guilty about enjoying a story that increased, if only marginally, our broader awareness of what really happened in America during the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960s. My original review of the book states:

The horrific events and circumstances surrounding the civil rights movement cannot be sugar-coated, and I did feel that The Help only gave us a glimpse of reality.

There is no guilt or shame or thoughtlessness for appreciating a story well-told, or for recommending the book to others. What would be shameful is to ignore the opportunity to educate ourselves on all the finer details of our American history rich with accounts of bravery, courageous acts, and sacrifice in the face of bigotry. Am I ashamed of that part of my heritage? Yes, but that does not mean I cannot have a visceral reaction to the story, regardless of the skin color of its author. If I draw a line there, am I not taking a step backward, instead of stepping toward a future in which we’re all color blind?

 

Leadership vs. Management

Posted on by
2

"I'm packing your extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes - just in case!" (Mrs. Potato Head)

I originally published the following post on Linking Triad dot com.

A recent trip took us to a restaurant, where I was reminded that there will always be a difference between managers and leaders. As developers of leaders, we frequently facilitate the conversation about those very differences, and often one of the distinctions noted places managers in a category reserved for those who carry out someone else’s vision, while leaders are in the business of developing people.

We were the unfortunate witnesses to a public (out in the open area of the restaurant, in front of other patrons and bar staff) berating of our waitress by the general manager of the restaurant. Our waitress, overcome with tears, continued to provide us with exceptional customer service, but our two conversations (both of our own initiation) with the general manager proved less than satisfying.

I concede that I don’t know ALL the facts surrounding the disaster, that ended with our waitress quitting, and our abrupt departure from the restaurant, not having eaten because we no longer felt welcome or hungry. However, I do think there are some common lessons we can glean from the experience.

Regardless of the circumstances, and whether or not some grave error had been committed by the waitress (she seated us after the kitchen no longer wanted to prepare food), here’s what I think the general manager lost for the restaurant in one night:

  1. The obvious and immediate loss to the restaurant was our business. They lost immediate revenue for the food that was prepared, but we chose not to eat. The general manager assumed the cost in our departing conversation.
  2. Naturally, we will not be returning, so there is no future revenue, either.
  3. Also lost was our respect for the general manager, and subsequently, the restaurant group that employs him. We were appalled at the outburst, and felt that no behavior could possibly warrant such a reproach.
  4. We immediately wrote a negative review on one prominent social media site, and then tweeted about it, too. Remember that one unhappy customer who speaks out publicly is just the tip of your proverbial iceberg when it comes to your real issues. When was the last time you questioned your customers about their satisfaction levels?
  5. Our waitress was doing her job, and doing it very well by our account. The restaurant lost an employee that not only did her job, but she put the needs of her customers at the top of her priorities. Shouldn’t that be the ultimate desire of any company in the business of customer service?

When we choose to react, rather than to act, we choose to behave at the mercy of our emotions. As leaders, we are completely dependent on those whom we employ for our successes. Developing people is a skill that requires keeping your emotions in check and allowing direct reports to make errors. How else can we possibly help them grow and improve if we intercept their ability to choose? In so doing, we will slowly cut off all of our relationships, and there won’t be any customers left to serve.

While I’d like to believe this was an isolated incident with a power-hungry manager, I know it’s not true. We have each seen this scenario played out in numerous offices, retail establishments, and restaurants. When have you seen poor management in action? Have you ever been on the giving or receiving end?

The Hunger Games Trilogy – A Review

Posted on by
10

The Hunger Games, published 2008

Catching Fire, published 2009

Mockingjay, published 2010

I’m going to treat my review of these three books as a collective whole, as I do not see them as separate stories, but rather as one contiguous tale told with two lengthy bathroom breaks. Please be forewarned, there are SPOILERS.

It’s about: Set in a not-so-futuristic North America, where controlled deprivation of basic human needs and fear of the reigning political power: The Capitol, are normal, Katniss Everdeen is a self-reliant 16-year-old, who voluntarily takes the place of her younger sister to participate in the annual nationally-televised Hunger Games. Only two options exist in the Games: survive or die, and it’s Katniss against 23 other youth. Having survived the Games as the reigning champion, Katniss makes the obligatory victory tour of the districts, only to discover she has become the unwilling symbol of political unrest across the nation. Forced to go back into the Games as a contender for the second year in a row, Katniss joins forces with the other contestants, and openly revolts against The Capitol, and an all-out revolution unfolds. The final showdown against The Capitol places Katniss once again in an arena, where life and death are seemingly just a game.

I thought:

The books were extremely difficult to put down, but I’m still pondering over the reasons why. I liked Katniss. A lot. I think she’s a great strong female protagonist, and to the best of her character’s developed ability, she is focused on principle foundations – or at least what she thinks are her foundations. Ultimately, the books allow her to explore (although at a rather elementary level) her guiding principles and how emotions affect and impact her in that process. Love interest #2, Peeta, was my favorite from Go, although I am unsure if my affection for him is actually my brain’s inability to acknowledge the antonym at play with pita bread, and my deep and abiding love for this flat bread marvel of the Mediterranean. Yet another mystery I will likely never solve. Love interest #1, Gale, was shallow, underdeveloped as a character, and never had enough screen time to become a true player in the overall story.

But why couldn’t I put down the books? I think it was because of the anticipation that something good had to come out of so much bad, but it never did, and here’s where I come completely clean about this story, and hopefully enable many of you to question your own publicly-proclaimed “love” for these books. Let’s be honest. I thought these books were horrific and gratuitously violent. I was shocked and riveted to my seat in disbelief because the target audience is young adults. For a story whose basic premise is “kill or be killed,” weaving a poorly-constructed love triangle throughout its pages is a lame excuse for young adult fiction. The plot is always at its weakest when we are not in the arena of the Games, and we are not in the arena a lot in books two and three, although Mockingjay (Book Three) had the most lulls in the storyline, and could have been whittled down significantly (I’m talking entire chapters here), and not lost anything against the plot.

Look, I don’t always need a happy ending to be satisfied, and I was tacitly content with the story’s conclusion. Where else was Collins going to go with the story, anyway? She’d pretty much painted herself into that corner. I just felt like there were loose ends, plot developments that ran out of steam somewhere along the way, and characters whose person could have been more richly developed. That’s all.

  1. What political statement was Suzanne Collins hoping to make?
  2. What overall message is she sending to her young adult readers?
  3. Is this book about war as a game?
  4. Katniss, Peeta, and the other “champions” of the Games clearly suffered from PTSD, yet no one took their suffering seriously. Is this a statement about how we as a society treat war veterans enduring this serious side effect of war?
  5. Was this a comment on us as The Capitol citizens? (Cause we’ve got sooo many “first world problems,” people.)
  6. Was this really just a love story and I’m over-thinking the entire thing?
  7. If you proclaimed to “love” these books, will you please tell me why?

Verdict: Read it once, but don’t worry that you’re missing out on something amazing if you never get around to them, and would rather reread Harry Potter for the tenth time, instead.

Reading Recommendation: If your young adult has already read the books, you’ll definitely want to read them, too, so you can discuss them together. If not, many many adults have been captivated by the story, and perhaps you will, too.

Warnings: With a nod to the YA label: Extreme violence, graphic death scenes, discomfiting moral dilemmas, weakly-attempted love story.

 

 

Reading Samples

Posted on by
4

I had only an iPad in my hands, and a long flight ahead of me. Browsing the iTunes bookstore, I couldn’t decide which book I wanted to read; there were so many titles of interest to me. So I did what any book-loving girl in my situation would have done: I downloaded the free samples for six different books, and I read four of them.

1. Catherine the Great, Portrait of a Woman, by Robert K. Massie

Having lived in Russia twice, I am still fascinated by this country rich in history and heritage, but complicated in its explanations. I have personally visited the palace of Catherine the Great, and was excited to hear a wonderful interview by Diane Rehm with Robert Massie. Listening to Massie discuss Catherine as if he knew her personally, compelled me to download the first 121 pages, but his rich narrative style kept me reading, and I was sad when my sample ended.

 

 

2. Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides

My friend Christina absolutely adores Eugenides, and when I asked her which of his three books (I downloaded all three samples because I wasn’t sure which to choose) is her favorite, and she emphatically stated: Middlesex, I knew I had to start with this one. Honestly, those free 83 pages flew by for me so quickly, and darned if it didn’t end just when the story was about to get good. I’m thinking Christina is definitely on to something with Eugenides, and I can’t wait to see how this one ends.

 

 

3. 11/22/63: A Novel, by Stephen King

Don’t judge, but I listen to NPR all the time. Seriously. Some folks have their televisions, but I have my NPR iPad app that gets used more often than anything else. So when the regular book reviewer told me this latest novel by Stephen King was nothing like any of his other novels, my ears perked up immediately! Truth: I’ve never read a Stephen King novel. I love history, and this quasi-historical fictitious retelling of the events leading up to the assassination of John F. Kennedy is an extremely fun ride! Time travel, mystery, intriguing characters, real life events – and I’m only 148 pages committed at this point.

 

4. Steve Jobs, by Walter Isaacson

Look – everyone else is reading this biography of the year, so why not me, too? I take Apple products intravenously, and am certain if I were paid commission on all the Apple products I’ve convinced other people to buy, I could have a nice fat wad of cash in reserve to cover my next Apple fix. 91 pages hardly has Steve Jobs’ story started, though, and I’ve heard really mixed opinions about this book. I will say that the smattering of different names on every page had me turning back to the nine page! org chart at the beginning too frequently to keep me interested in the “characters.”

The other two samples I downloaded were Eugenides’ other two novels: The Marriage Plot, and The Virgin Suicides. I haven’t read either of these two yet since I wanted a clean slate with Eugenides as I started Middlesex, but indeed, they will be read.

I have decided that I LOVE the ability to download free samples of books. This is waaaay better than Amazon’s Look Inside! feature, and will definitely make it easier for me to fairly determine whether or not I actually want to read a book. My big question now is, Which book do I finish first? Who’s read any of these titles?

The Help – A Review

Posted on by
1

Published: 2009

It’s about:

Skeeter: a young white woman, recently graduated from college, who aspires to be a writer.
Aibileen: an older black maid, who has spent her entire life in the service of white families.
Minny: a thirty-something black woman, also a maid, but with a mind of her own that she’s oftentimes too willing to share.

Set in 1962 Mississippi, the story chronicles the intersecting of these three women’s lives, as they each want change, but not necessarily for the same reason. Ultimately, their secret writing project permanently alters each of their lives as they break down the color barriers society put in place, but to which they are each expected to adhere.

I thought:

It was a bit of a surprise to me, but this was the best book I read in 2011. I avoided reading it for a good long while simply because everyone else was reading it, and then there was the movie (which I still haven’t seen, but will), and I refuse to see a movie based on a book before I read the book, myself. Having said all that – I was pleasantly surprised at how well-written this first-time novel by Kathryn Stockett reads. I love the vignette-style chapters, representing the perspectives of the three different main characters, and I loved how easily the storyline unfolded.

While the story is captivating, and at times a little tense as we wonder if there will be severe consequences for the actions of these courageous women, Stockett only skirts the edge of segregation. The horrific events and circumstances surrounding the civil rights movement cannot be sugar-coated, and I did feel that The Help only gave us a glimpse of reality.

I really liked the character development, and not just of the main three characters. I especially enjoyed Skeeter’s mother, who at times made me laugh with her idiosyncrasies, but most of the time I cringed at her southern authenticity.

Verdict:

I really loved the book, and experienced a wide range of emotions while reading, and I cried when it ended. It made me want to read The Secret Life of Bees all over again. My recommendation is for you to definitely read it if you haven’t yet.

Favorite excerpts:

“My face goes hot, my tongue twitchy. I don’t know what to say to her. All I know is, I ain’t saying it. And I know she ain’t saying what she want a say either and it’s a strange thing happening here cause nobody saying nothing and we still managing to have us a conversation.”

“Lines between black and white ain’t there neither. Some folks just made those up, long time ago. . . . All I’m saying is, kindness don’t have no boundaries.”

“There is so much you don’t know about a person. . . . Wasn’t that the point of the book? For women to realize, We are just two people. Not that much separates us. Not nearly as much as I’d thought.”

“And while I’d never lie and tell myself I actually changed the minds of people like Hilly and Elizabeth, at least I don’t have to pretend I agree with them anymore.”

Bananas & Christmas Carols

Posted on by
1

I was a Brownie Scout for a couple of years between the ages of six-eight. For Christmas one year, our troop went Christmas caroling to an old folks’ home, and we took bananas to give the residents. I thought that was a strange gift to give to someone, but they took their bananas and smiled – giving me hugs so tight I thought they might not let go for me to sing to them. I even remember one lady gripping my hand with her purple-veined one, and I wasn’t sure what to do, so I let her hold my hand until we had to leave.

My maternal grandfather lived the remaining three years of his life in an assisted living facility. He fell and broke his hip after the first year, and then refused to shave again. Obviously, this necessitated him dressing up as Santa Claus for their holiday party because, apparently, his white beard drove the ladies wild. Grandpa. Grandpa. Grandpa.

 

 

 

For the second year in a row since his passing, our family has gathered together at this same facility and walked up and down the halls Christmas caroling. Some of the residents regularly leave their apartment doors open to the hallway, and we are able to wave at them as we pass. Others find their way into the corridor and sit down to enjoy the private concert until we move on to the next batch of apartments. Most sing or hum along with us, but all applaud.

Growing up surrounded by other people (with seven siblings there’s never really anywhere to go by yourself), I always take noise for granted. I especially love when the residents come “outside” to greet us and to thank us, and to express appreciation for our simple visit.

 

 

 

 

And for the second year in a row, at least one resident opted to join us in our revelry as we walked, singing, from door to door. This year it was Evelyn, and as it turns out, she is the new resident of Grandpa’s apartment, and her accompaniment on our songs was just the alto touch we needed.

I kept thinking that perhaps we should have brought bananas for everyone, too, but bananas were the furthest thing from my mind when I reached out to hold Evelyn’s purple-veined hand; I’m the one who didn’t want to let go.

2011 is Over?!

Posted on by
16

I’m not entirely sure where this year has gone, since I’m pretty certain it just started, but clearly some time has passed. I am apparently now the mother of an official teenager, and since there’s no need to regale anyone with those tales, we’ll focus on our favorite vacation EVER. No worries because YOU are the beneficiary of our very own . . .

 

Top Recommendations for Orlando:

If you want to sound completely in the know for an upcoming visit to Orlando, or just want to impress friends planning their visit, be sure and take our advice, or don’t. It’s a new year, what do I care? Oh, but if I could ride just one more time. . . .

In addition to Orlando, we also took a long weekend trip to Nashville, Tennessee, to celebrate L’s 13th birthday. The real highlight of that trip (other than having our picture taken with Elvis, of course) was attending a writers’ night at The Bluebird Cafe, where Taylor Swift got her start. L plans to perform some of her own original music there on an open mic night in our future.

Oh, and L was extra cool this year because she grew out her hair and then chopped it all off for Locks of Love.

We can’t wait to see what 2012 has waiting for us, and hope you’ll continue to read along as the adventures continue. Merry! Merry! to you and yours!

p.s. – What’s the greatest number of times you’ve ridden an amusement park ride during the same day visit to that park?

Carolina Theatre = Community Connection

Posted on by
Reply

I wrote the following as a contributing writer on www.linkingtriad.com:

What have I been waiting for all these years?! I’m certain I must be the last person in Greensboro to take advantage of the Carolina Theatre’s Classic Movie Series they produce every December! For the first time EVER, I attended the fabulous and wonderful movie, “White Christmas,” starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, and Rosemary Clooney. I love that movie, but it’s been years since I last saw it, and I can’t think of a more perfect setting in which to ever see it again.

The beautiful Carolina Theatre, which seats around 1000, had a huge crowd in the house for the show. Armed with their popcorn and beverages, Greensboro presented itself well Thursday night. I thought I was just going to the movies, accompanied by family and friends, and that we’d enjoy seeing the show on the (really) big screen, and drive home satisfied.

Here’s what else we got:

  • We experienced the movie like never before as the entire live audience erupted in applause every time a big dance number was performed on the screen!
  • Cheers were common throughout the show, as movie-goers didn’t hold back their visceral connections to this beautiful story.
  • As the final big scene unfolded and Bing Crosby sang out, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.” Guess what happened? Voices all around me (and mine included) joined in, and downtown Greensboro’s Carolina Theatre became an extension of the movie set, itself.
  • The thunderous concluding applause communicated the mutual feeling we each shared: community is about connecting with your neighbors, and what better way to connect than to share a classic movie?

In what other ways have you connected with your neighbors for the holidays this year?

A Christmas Carol: A Review

Posted on by
3

Triad-Stage-ImageI want to forget that I’m in a theatre when I’m in a theatre. Is that too much to ask? Apparently, yes, for Triad Stage’s production of the Dickens’ classic, A Christmas Carol. An insert in tonight’s program asked for my feedback.

What did you like about the production?

I liked certain performances within the production. Namely, Gordon Joseph Weiss as Ebenezer Scrooge, Izzy Goff as the Ghost of Christmas Past, Michael Tourek as Mr. Fezziwig, and Rosie McGuire as Mrs. Fezziwig and the Ghost of Christmas Present.

But my favorite performance was the set, itself. As always, the behind-the-scenes powerhouse is what brings to life every production I’ve ever seen at Triad Stage, and it’s always transformative. Completely dependent upon one another, and of equal importance, are the set, the lights, the sound, and the projection. I was not disappointed in their ability to transform a small space in downtown Greensboro into 1843 London. Thank you for your brilliance.

Was there anything you didn’t like?

Yes, thank you for asking.

1. All the principle roles were the exact same actors as the 2010 production.
2. The blocking was almost identical to the 2010 production.
3. The performance lacked ensemble cohesion and believability. (I had to rely on standout performances for my entertainment.)
4. There were audio issues and it was difficult to hear some of the performers’ lines.
5. It was difficult to understand all of the actors’ lines – bad diction in many instances.
6. The performance of Triad Stage newcomer Kendra Woodfolk (Charity Woman/Belle/Edwina/Young Wife) was bad, at best, and for someone with as many lines as she had, this really caused a disturbance in the force.
7. What is with the Ghost of Christmas Present and her song?! We so hoped that would be absent from this year’s production, but, alas, no – it was every bit as confusing to us as to what it has to do with Dickens’ original tale. But props for a lovely voice. Wait. Is that why it’s there? Because Preston Lane’s adaptation is really designed to showcase specific actors and their talents? Nah. I’m sure that’s not the case. (see #1)

Every time I started to lose myself in the story (and this was with some effort), something (see items 1-7 above) jolted me to the reality I was still sitting in the theatre. I expect a lot from Triad Stage; they’re a professional theatre company, and bill themselves as such.

Have we really tapped out Greensboro’s talent that we needed to bring back almost the identical cast from last year? Is it a prerequisite that in order to participate in a Triad Stage production you have to have acted in a minimum of two, but as many as six, previous Triad Stage productions? (I counted – and that’s what tonight’s playbill indicated.) Perhaps Triad Stage should bill themselves as a green theatre company because they keep recycling the same actors.

Would you recommend this production to a friend? Why or why not?

Tough question. The overall production felt forced and choppy, and lacked the theatre magic to tie it all together. If you are interested in watching individual actors perform their parts with magnitude, go right ahead and reserve your tickets. Just don’t expect to forget where you are because you will be reminded time and again that the Ghost of Get Me Out of Here still hasn’t arrived, and you won’t find me giving an undeserved standing ovation.