Author Archives: Arminda

Dance! Dance! Dance!

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Spring is in the air and happy young couples everywhere succumb to the rituals of prom and ready themselves in high fashion. High school juniors and seniors across the land make restaurant reservations, order corsages and boutonnieres, get measured for tuxedos, purchase pretty dresses, receive manicures and pedicures, practice numerous hairstyles to find the perfect one, and borrow the keys to the nicest car they can get permission to drive. And then, the dancing. Ohhhh! The dancing!! I felt like Cinderella at the ball!

My naive little world came to a screeching halt last week when a friend told me what happens at the prom and at every other high school and middle school dance floor – at least around here.

She told me that her daughter, a high school senior, recently attended the senior prom with her boyfriend and was taken aback when she discovered that every single young person on the dance floor was grinding. Not dancing. Grinding. And when a friend asked my friend’s daughter why she wasn’t dancing, she replied, “Oh, I don’t dance.” because she didn’t want to offend or participate in the accepted activity. To this, the other young woman replied, “Oh! It’s easy! All you do is lift up your skirt like this, back up into your guy and move against him with the music.”

Yup!! That’s right folks! Step right up for the booty show. I couldn’t believe it, so I contacted another friend, who teaches high school English. Here’s what she said.

It’s no lie; it’s all about the grind. Kids don’t know how to dance differently. They don’t have any influences that teach them differently. The movies they watch and the shows they see all have grinding and that’s about it. The teachers make rounds around the floor and make sure that it doesn’t get too sexual, but they really can’t make kids not grind. What they basically do is the guys stand behind the girls while the girls shake their butts on the guys’ bodies. It’s quite disappointing.

When I was in school, we would get in circles and just dance like they did in the music videos of our time, but the music videos out now are all sexual moves, so that’s what they mimic.  I blame society, not the school. Kids mimic what they know and see. The parents of our kids grind too. They club all night long which teaches their kids that it’s okay.

So, too sexy, wall dancing, laying on the floor, bending over, skirts up, shirts off=NOT PERMISSIBLE!!  When kids look like they have gotten a little too much grinding, or if it is getting too sexy in there, we will switch the song to a line dance or to a slow song or a country song to cool it off.  The sad part is that the kids don’t even dance to the slow songs anymore. That’s when they go and get drinks or take a break.  They like grinding.

One time I asked a DJ if our kids danced any differently than any other group of kids.  He said that every school (rich, poor, diverse, not-diverse) dances the same way.  He DJs many school dances in the area.

Does this qualify as dancing to you? Have you witnessed this new style of dancing among youth? What’s your opinion? Should schools be doing more to police the dance floor? Should parents? Is this acceptable behavior for your son or your daughter?

Perhaps I shouldn’t be so shocked. I guess my dancing standards are way above everyone else’s? Dance is one of the purest expressions of my inner self. It’s about movement and rhythm and fluid art. It’s a form of communication and I can’t imagine openly communicating anything so vulgar as what our young people are displaying in the gymnasiums of public schools. Then, again, what do I know? I’m just a dancer.

The Thief Lord – A Book Review

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Published: 2002

Author: Cornelia Funke

It’s About: A group of young orphans living together in an abandoned movie theatre in Venice, Italy, enjoy the independence of an adult-free life until the stakes are suddenly raised when they accept a back-alley job to steal an artifact in hopes of securing financial freedom for themselves. Awaiting them, however, are big risks, grownup decisions, and results that aren’t exactly what they were expecting.

I Thought: This was a fun fantasy/adventure story set in a lovely place that allowed my imagination to wander as much as the main characters’. Who among us hasn’t imagined life without adults or grownup decisions? The Thief Lord permits us to indulge our best memories of running away as children and doing something about it, while not making every adult into a bad guy. I loved the closeness of the children and their determination to stick by one another, no matter what. They had become their own family, albeit odd, and to the very end stayed committed to their relationships above all else. I also appreciated that there were two notable and trustworthy adults, who showed sincere interest in the well-being of this band of six children, and do everything in their power to build trust with the untrusting young people. I especially enjoyed the character of Ida Spavento, who was as much a child at heart as the children, themselves.

Mrs. Funke tells a wonderful story, but threads some important life lessons into the pages without you realizing it. Before The Thief Lord ends you will be subconsciously questioning whether or not the age at which you find yourself today is how you find joy in life, or given the choice, would you change it?

Verdict: We enjoyed the audio version of this book, and it was a fun and quick read for our jaunts about town. There was nothing too deep or engaging that we couldn’t pick up where we left off easily enough. This is a fun read, even for younger (age 7 and up) children, but I would read together as there are some intense scenes for the younger readers.

Reading Recommendation: Age 7 and up

Revolution is Not a Dinner Party – A Book Review

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Published: 2007

Author: Ying Chang Compestine

Awards: California Book Award for Young Adult Literature
 * 2008 ALA Best Books For Young Adults
 * 2008 ALA Notable Children’s Books
 * 2007 Publishers Weekly Best Children’s Fiction Book List

It’s About: Nine-year-old Ling tells her personal story of growing up during the Cultural Revolution in China. Set in the city of Wuhan, along the banks of the Yangtze River, Ling describes events, people and emotions as she experiences them, and what starts out as a child’s innocent world with all things in their proper place quickly morphs into confusion, instability and loss. While Ling is no longer an innocent child by the time the story concludes, she never loses her personal determination and conviction to the principles she was taught.

I Thought: I was captivated by this story. Frequently, as adults, we forget how differently an event impacts, affects, or is perceived by a child, and this book was my personal reminder of that. I found myself wanting to give Ling’s mother some parenting advice (on multiple occasions) because Ling’s reactions, questions, comments or behavior were oftentimes a direct result of what she didn’t understand – and at no fault of her own.

I will tell you this is not an easy book to absorb. It’s difficult to willingly participate (as a reader) in the hardships of the characters, and this is especially true when perceived corruption, tyranny and outright cruelty are displayed. I cried more than once knowing this book is autobiographical and loosely based on actual events that took place during Mao Tse Tung’s Cultural Revolution. Opinions and sources differ on the actual number of intellectuals killed during this dark period in Chinese history, but the negative consequences (and there are many, but that’s probably a different conversation) of Mao’s senseless and selfish political campaign still linger today.

Verdict:

image credit - Wikipedia

While I say this book is tough, I mean that from my privileged upbringing in a home and in a country where I’ve never experienced true hardship, deprivation, or loss of freedoms. This book caused me to consider gratitude, political power, conflict, loss, freedom, socialism, communism, democracy, deprivation, intellectual purging, similarities between Mao Tse Tung and Joseph Stalin, cultural impact, socio-economic impact, psychological impact, and the list goes on. Inspired by Ling’s story, I turned to my college textbook on Modern Chinese History, to the internet, and to a friend for additional insight on the events that transpired not many years’ past.

Read this one with your kids. Read this one on your own. Let this story be your catalyst for learning more about the actual events leading up to and during the Cultural Revolution, which took place from 1966-1976, even though the author bends her dates a bit for some reason.

Reading Recommendation: Middle Grade Fiction – I loved the audio version of this book (less than five hours).

Simple Joys

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It doesn’t take much to put a smile on my face, and usually the reasons are random and unexpected. Every day is full of new smile sources – but I’m not always looking, and sometimes the greatest joys are the most unexpected.

Today’s post is a collection of recent joys that brought smiles to my face.

1. I took a walk with my friend Mariam and along the way we stopped often to admire the beautiful flowers, trees, and homes that line the streets in her neighborhood. Taking time to – quite literally – stop and smell the roses allowed us to be present with one another in a way that wasn’t rushed, or pressing or something we were checking off our To-Do List. And along the way we learned more about one another, supported each other emotionally and relished in our decades’ long friendship that will welcome many more such walks together. Just being.

 

2. Approaching the front door in my normal harried state I immediately noticed pine needles scattered across the top of my beautiful hanging basket of petunias. Quick to draw conclusions, I hastily judged the lawn care folks for having blown the stuff everywhere and reached to pull out the miscreant needles only to discover they were attached. Closer inspection revealed the “guilty party” was a bird, who had built a beautiful nest right in the center of my potted plant, and I was now treading on someone else’s doorstep. Removing my hand quickly, I hoped I hadn’t disturbed what had so lovingly been built in my absence.

3. Sure they taste sweet and we all love strawberry shortcake, but strawberries are just so gorgeous and visually appealing! Look at them! Doesn’t your mouth start watering, imagining how sweet they’ll taste when you bite into one? They were that good, and I can’t wait to pick more because there’s probably another way I can frame them for a photo. . . .

4. Bubbles and sidewalk chalk are pretty much synonymous with joy, aren’t they? At least they are in my world. Not pictured, but certainly involved in our fun, as well, were hula hoops. Anyone can create anything with a piece of fat colorful sidewalk chalk – and feel amazing about their work. I’m no artist, but I drew a very convincing basketball, lollipop and numerous letters of the alphabet. And trust me, there is no age limit to any of these items. In fact, using them will probably take age out of your equation altogether.

5. Fresh vegetables bring me joy, especially when they look so beautiful on the plate before I cook them. And since I love colorful combinations this was a winning opportunity to put a smile on my face before and after dinner.

What are some of the recent joys in your world?

Shooting the Moon – A Book Review

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Published: 2009

It’s About: Jamie is a confident, exuberant and normal 12-year-old army brat, who idolizes her father and refers to him simply as “the colonel.” When her brother TJ enlists as an army medic and gets sent to Vietnam, Jamie can’t contain her pride and is “combat ready” for the exciting military details she’s sure he’ll share with her in letters, but all she receives are rolls of film TJ needs developed. No letters. Only images of huts, tanks, wounded soldiers, nameless faces, and the moon. As time progresses, the shots of the reality of the war in Vietnam TJ continues to share with her take their toll, and Jamie’s once “combat ready” opinion of the war subsides while her opinion of the colonel goes through its own metamorphosis.

I Thought: This was a simple read on the surface, but oh so complex in its implications. At its core, Shooting the Moon is a coming-of-age story and the complexities of a relationship between a daughter and her father. On the surface, this book is about family, friendship, family life in the military, developing new talents, and acceptance.

Author Frances O’Roark Dowell builds just enough tension to keep the story compelling through protagonist Jamie’s delightful first-person telling. Jamie’s innocence and acceptance of life as she knew it approach felt believable and spot-on. I liked Jamie. I loved her summer-long gin rummy tournament with Private Hollister, her childhood memories of playing army with her brother, her sharp mind, and her adoration of her father.

Because the book is short, I expected it to be overly simplistic, and it’s anything but. Mrs. Dowell’s ability to accurately portray the subtle nuances of this family’s relationships with one another, and to capture their emotional pulse is refreshing and real. I was emotionally invested in the outcome of the story, and believe readers of all ages will appreciate the underlying messages waiting for everyone.

Verdict: This is a great book for parents and children to read separately, but discuss together. It would be a great introduction to a conversation on the Vietnam War and what constituted the conflict, why the United States was involved, and the heavy price we paid for our participation.

Reading Recommendation: grades 4-8

 

Crass + Cleavage = THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY

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There’s been a whole lotta buzz lately about the website Miss Bimbo dot com. I heard about it through the awesome TentoTwenty site, where I’m a contributing writer, but there have been multiple other folks on the interwebs discussing its relevance. In fact, several of us have been so disturbed by the overt implications of this site, we’re each dedicating a post to it, specifically today: Thursday because it’s Throat Punch Thursday over at Debi’s, and we’re all joining in the fun.

Several of my friends will be talking about the negative messaging this sends to our tween crowd and how this site is one more reason young girls will see themselves as not good enough, not skinny enough, not whatever enough. And all of that is probably true, and it’s deplorable.

But my rant and throat punch today won’t be for those reasons. I am dedicating my throat punch to women who give other women a bad image. STOP DRAGGING ME DOWN BECAUSE YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY, NO BIG DEAL, and NOT HURTING ANYONE!

When one woman degrades herself, she degrades all of us along with her. To refer to yourself as a bimbo – even in jest – is to debase me, too. Do you even know the definition of a bimbo?

an attractive but empty-headed young woman, esp. one perceived as a willing sex object.

Last month a photograph of a puffy-faced Ashley Judd appeared all over the internet, and immediately critics were discussing the obvious plastic surgery signs, weight gain issues, and how Ashley’s husband’s wandering eyes will get her back to how she should be looking. Ashley Judd is one of my new heroes because she stood up for me when she published a three-page response to all the haters, gossipers, critics and rumor spreaders. Please take a few minutes to read her article published on The Daily Beast.

The Conversation about women’s bodies exists largely outside of us, while it is also directed at (and marketed to) us, and used to define and control us. The Conversation about women happens everywhere, publicly and privately. We are described and detailed, our faces and bodies analyzed and picked apart, our worth ascertained and ascribed based on the reduction of personhood to simple physical objectification.

 

Be the person who STOPS promoting the hyper-sexualization of our society.

Women: Have enough respect for yourself to know where and when to draw the line in your conversation, your dress, and in your relationships.

Men: Please show women the respect they deserve, and help them rise above the low standards society currently embraces.

We can all do better than Miss Bimbo, who thinks so little of herself that a website devoted to her crassness, cleavage and curves is her idea of success and fulfillment. I know better.

Princess Academy – A Review

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Published: 2005

It’s About: Fourteen-year-old Miri lives in a mountain village, where the community works together quarrying stone. Word arrives on Mount Eskel that the prince will choose his future bride from among the eligible daughters of Miri’s village, but the girls have only one year to prepare themselves for proper princess etiquette and so must attend a princess academy, whose purpose is to qualify them to meet the prince.

Miri attends the academy and learns to read, to write, to dance, to converse pleasantly, to negotiate terms, and the laws of commerce. A year of book learning opens up worlds of possibilities for Miri, who longs to understand her significance in her family, in her village, and with herself.

I Thought: I was initially worried that this would be yet another rags-to-riches story of a poor mountain girl whose Prince Charming arrives to save her from her life of drudgery and whisks her away to his happily-ever-after, the end. But it’s NOT! Instead, author Shannon Hale creates a cast of lovely individual girls, each with unique personalities and attributes that endear them to us for different reasons. Friendships are nicely developed and accurate portrayals of typical tween girls and their likes and dislikes read easily. Through the girls’ eyes we question the idea or notion of being a princess at all. We wonder together if we even want to be chosen by the prince. We learn through our questioning what home and family really mean, why having true friends is important and how to treat one another with kindness, why thinking for ourselves is a quality to be developed, and most of all – that if you choose to be in a relationship with someone it’s just that: your choice. And the best sort of relationship that has lasting power and love is not one that happens “at first sight,” but rather one that is built on a solid foundation of friendship developed over time.

Verdict: My daughter has enjoyed the collective work of author Shannon Hale, but this was my first introduction. I listened to the audio version of the book and think I would have preferred to read it (I didn’t care for the studio cast), but that didn’t prevent me from enjoying the story immensely. I was more caught up than I thought, and was pleased with the unexpected twists and turns the story took just when I thought I knew where it would go next.

I really appreciated this realistic approach to life, relationships, and self. The protagonist Miri is strong-willed, determined and spunky. And I like her. I like her personal growth most of all and believe young female readers will find qualities and character traits to which they will relate in her, and they will champion her choices, her triumphs, and her failures, as well.

Reading Recommendation: Borrow this one from a friend or from the library and enjoy your studies in the Princess Academy!

Family Fun Day!!!

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Families matter. A lot. And spending time together as families is what our children will remember. I don’t remember what I had for breakfast every day as a child, or even things my mother said to me. I do, however, remember my mom helping me select a pair of awesome red tennis shoes from the Sears catalog, visiting historic Civil War battlefields as a family, working together in our backyard garden, playing baseball because we had enough people for two teams without calling the neighbors as extras, feeding the ducks at the park, catching fireflies in the middle of the night, dancing around the living room to our favorite records, eating popcorn while we watched the Disney Sunday Night Movie every single week, and the list goes on and on and on. The foundation on which we build our adulthood are the memories of experiences we shared with our families as children.

The Guilford Parent Academy is holding its FAMILY FUN DAY on May 19, 2012, at Camp Weaver. This FREE event is a way for parents & children to spend some time together and highlights the importance of doing things as a family to build community. There will be wholesome food, entertainment, health screenings and activities like canoeing, swimming, kayaking and more….again, all for FREE. The Parent Academy offers free seminars, classes and events to parents/caregivers and children throughout the year in order to help both succeed in school and in daily life. This event is their way to say thank you to the parents/caregivers of Guilford County. Take a look at this promo video for the Parent Academy for more info.

Here are more details:

FAMILY FUN DAY at CAMP WEAVER
Saturday, May 19 from 10am to 4pm | 4924 Tapawingo Trail, Greensboro, NC 27406

Free transportation provided at pick up / drop off locations:
Smith High 2407 S. Holden Rd.
Dudley High 1200 Lincoln St.
Gateway Education Center 3205 E. Wendover Ave.
High Point Central High 801 Ferndale Blvd.
Shuttle buses to Camp Weaver run every hour from 9:30am to 3:30pm. Return shuttles provided every hour from 11am to 4pm. Children must be accompanied by an adult.

This event is targeted to K-8 grade students of the Guilford County Schools. Put it on your calendars now. Tell your kids about it. Plan a memory and go have fun making it!

Color

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My heart is full of color this morning. I love color: seeing it, touching it, wearing it, and feeling it from the inside of me all the way out to my fingertips. There is a certain reverence to the morning light as it warms the first leaves with its touch, and that same light source creates a palette of vibrant pastels when it sinks into the western sky, stretching its fingers to touch every cloud goodnight, painting for us a spectrum of possibilities from sunup to sundown.

Without color, my life would be dull, indeed. A red living room wall greeting me when I walk into my home is a reflection of my own vibrancy and passion for living. Yellow accent pieces against my muted apple-green kitchen walls supply yearlong springtime. And for sanctuary, peaceful breathing, and rejuvenation I withdraw to the hand-painted vines climbing the blueish/greenish walls of my bedroom.

Mornings allow me to identify with the ROY G. BIV lineup of colors in my closet, starting always with my shoes and building up from my feet. Yesterday it was my cowboy boots and blue tights supplying all the color my basic grey dress didn’t have on its own. While others looked at my striking blue legs paired with my lime green raincoat and pitied my colorful brashness, I smiled and embraced the authenticity of me.

If ever in doubt, I always wear red, but wearing color is a given, as John Ruskin, English art critic, reminds me, “The purest and most thoughtful minds are those which love color the most.”

It’s a Family Thing

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Eagle Scouts run in my family. It must be in our blood: a genetic predisposition to years of merit badge earning, camp outs, 50-mile hikes, singing silly songs (although that may have started and stopped with my dad), uniforms, patrol leaders, and stating the Scout Oath in your sleep. I always wanted to be a boy scout, but my dad said I could only be an honorary one. Something about needing to be a boy. But this post isn’t about my history with the Boy Scouts of America; it’s about the third generation of Lindsay boys earning this most prestigious honor and recognition.

The Boy Scouts of America program (when administered correctly) establishes a foundation for these young men on which they will build for the rest of their lives. When you hear or think “Eagle Scout,” remember the honor is synonymous with learning, service, moral strength, good citizens, youth leadership and character building.

My dad was the first ever Eagle Scout in his hometown. All five of my brothers earned their Eagle, and my third nephew, Spencer, needs help from all of us to make his Eagle a reality. I realize this is short notice – that’s why I’m soliciting your help! I could go into all the details of why his original project can no longer be completed, but that’s another story and none of those reasons were due to Spencer’s lack of preparation. Sometimes grownups and politics get in the way of greatness. ‘Nuff said on that.

The Project

You’ve heard the saying, “Can’t see the forest for the trees”? Well, Price Park in Greensboro, NC, has a beautiful walking trail with a 400-yard section completely overgrown with small pine trees. This portion of the path is a mess. Park rangers have already agreed to cut down the trees during the week, and Spencer’s vision is to form a human chain of 200 community volunteers and remove the wood to a waiting wood chipper at the end of the assembly line. The trail is too narrow for a vehicle to fit, and this is why the removal has to be done manually.

This is a simple project, but to be successful requires people power.

Needs

  • 200 volunteers
  • work gloves
  • food to feed the masses
  • water for the workers
  • your time
  • financial donations
When: Saturday, April 14, 2012
When: 7:30am to 11:30am
Where: Price Park Trail at Kathleen Clay Edwards Library
Who: Adults, teens, service clubs, individuals who want to be part of an inspiring community project
Why: Because volunteering makes you live longer

 

There are plenty of ways you can help, even if you can’t physically be with us on the 14th.

  1. Spread the word and tell your friends
  2. Shout it from your social media platforms
  3. Donate money
  4. Provide referrals to businesses potentially willing to help with food and water

Contact

Click here for the Facebook event page – PLEASE let us know you’re coming so we know we have the volunteer base necessary.

Email Spencer directly at priceparkeagleproject at gmail dot com

Use the comments section below for any additional questions.

Thank you for your help. Together we can pull together as a community, support an outstanding young man in his efforts to not only clean up a trail, but to achieve an honor for which he’s been working since the age of eight.